#815 Being Unable to Decide for Myself

Car maintenance became the trigger for an unexpected realization.

One day, Nanbaruwan visits a shop to get the engine oil changed for her car. There, she is shocked to realize that she cannot make a decision without first confirming it with her husband. Throughout her marriage, her husband had repeatedly told her, "You will be happy if you just do as I say," leading her to develop a habit of delegating her own thoughts to him without realizing it.

Her dependence on her husband was rooted in past bitter experiences.

She shares that she felt unconscious pressure because she was afraid of being criticized with comments like, "The other option was cheaper," after making a decision and acting on it herself. Nanbaruwan analyzes her psychological state—where she would shrink back out of fear of her husband's reaction—as "dependency." Along with feeling uncomfortable about how her husband treats their daughter, she talks about re-examining her own way of living.

She chooses a specific action as a step toward independence.

Ultimately, she consults with the shop staff and decides to proceed with the oil change request on her own, but there was a small internal conflict in doing so. Her story of making a decision for herself while feeling hesitant carries a realistic weight that anyone wishing for independence can relate to. There is more to this deep conversation, so please be sure to listen to the full episode.