It wasn't that I 'couldn't be happy,' I just couldn't receive it
In this episode, the host Kochutei Wolf looks back on her past, recalling how she used to count the conditions for happiness and felt her life was 'incomplete' if even one was missing. She shares her realization that happiness hadn't failed to reach her; she simply hadn't been able to accept what was already there.
I realized I had set too many conditions for happiness.
Kochutei Wolf reflects on her former self, desperately trying to check off boxes like having a partner, a stable job, and sufficient income. She explains how she would thrust these missing conditions upon herself as proof of 'deficiency.' Perhaps this way of living, where everything required a condition to be met, was only tightening the noose around her own neck.
Warm happiness had already reached me in my daily life.
In reality, happiness had reached her many times—through someone celebrating her birthday or someone showing joy over a homemade karaage bento. However, she feared that if she acknowledged those moments as happiness, the pain of losing them someday would become all too real. Perhaps she had been trying to protect herself by intentionally choosing not to receive them.
Why did I leave my place on that day?
As mentioned in the middle of the episode, there was a year-long period where Kochutei Wolf stepped away from podcasting. She reveals the specific reason why she distanced herself from a place she loved. What was hidden in the background of that decision? Please listen to the full episode to find out.
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